I'm going to teach you about the law.

http://www.lawforkids.org/toons/view_toon.cfm?id=16&page=1

Read those. Watch the cartoons. Soon, you too will be an educated, law-abiding individual.

And remember, even the passenger gets in trouble.

Anyways, big news in the Adams family! We get the movie channels on CABLE! and I have cable in the basement. So sweet. Also, the patriarch is sick, refuses to go see a doctor and just made himself a sundae with two whole bananas. So I guess it's healthy now.

The Shakespeare play went fairly well. I was Monk With Torch. My part was pivotal. I did have to share the stage with a kid WHOM I HATE. He also had a torch. One that he tried to put out by RUNNING WITH IT POINTED FORWARD LIKE A SPEAR.

Again. Lit torch. Running. Hustle and bustle. People coming in and out of dressing rooms. LIT TORCH.

I about throttled him.

And I'm turning sixteen in eight days, and I'm getting a summer job. It's gonna be an AWESOME summer.

Oh! One of the best flubbed lines from our more disastrous performance of Much Ado About Nothing was this, during the boys' hedge scene: Myself and that guy, did see Hero and THAT guy, do all their stuff. Spoken by Don Pedro, and the guy who played him is absolutely hilarious, and one of the coolest guys I know.

Curse you Shakespeare.

Curse you for writing your plays.

And curse your plays for leading into a NKY Homeschool Shakespeare company thingy.

And curse the NKYHSC for leading into practices every day this week for four+ hours.

Ah well. I'm only in it for a second, so I shouldn't complain, but I've been handling the snack table and that alone is a nightmare. NOONE wants to donate. Dumb economy.

And the play is going to be a trainwreck unless there's some gargantuan miracle. And the best part is..

We are doing FOUR SHOWS. Yeah.

Four chances to slam a train repeatedly into a wall.

Yeahhh.

So, yeah, if you're gonna be in town, Boone Woods Ampitheatre, May 15th, 16th, 17th.

Cha! Cha! Cha! Cha! Chimps! Don't! Like! Baths!

http://www.daisyowl.com/comic/2008-08-09

Daisy Owl is easily the most AWESOME webcomic I've seen so far.

Today's odd title is brought to you by Fight Like Apes! A really cool band. Their video for Tie Me Up With Jackets is awesome. And Jake Summers is funny.

This has been an uneventful week.. nothing for me to note, or comment on. I feel weird. If anyone has anything for me to read and comment on, let me know.

Please.

I need this.

Prom '09 or; How I Flailed Around With My Best Friend and His Girlfriend

So, yeah. Just got home from prommm, and my feet hurt. Look for upcoming footage of mine and my friend's Travolta-styled dance movie. I have to play the girl since his girlfriend wouldn't. I've got blisters on my feet. Whew. So, the basic itinerary for me at dances is:
-Find out who I know
-Flail with them for a bit
-Pick someone random who isn't dancing with much life/pep
-Dance wildly in front of them until they begin to dance wildly
-KICK SOME BUTT AT COTTON EYED JOE
-Also kick some butt at Thriller
-Find a random girl friend of mine to dance with
-Sit down for a few minutes
-Request, to no avail, that the DJ play The Time Warp
-Flail some more.

So, yeah. Productive night. I'll have a better post soon.

And no, I didn't have a date. I will next year, hopefully!

-Jared

I'm a pretty awesome guy.

I forget to update my blog and don't afraid of anything.

Hello, readers! I am home from vacation, and I have been for a while now, and I have just remembered to type this up! Well, my vacation was great! Hilton Head Island. We had bad weather the first few days (50 and rainy, bleh) but then it warmed up. Cammy turned 7 down there!

I've been listening to a LOT of My First Earthquake lately, namely their Chaunukkah (spelling?) single Fa La Freezing. Makes me want to have a huge Christmas/Chaunnukkah party this year.

Anywaysss, that's pretty much all that's gone on lately. Prom, or my version of it, is coming up, debating whether or not to go, etc, etc. If I go it'll be to watch my two wingmen slow dance during Muskrat Love or whatever song they play for the couples.

-Jared

The color of infinity inside an empty glass.

It is remarkably similar to the color of infinity inside a half-empty glass, albeit with less distortion.

I've been reading A Softer World lately. It's fantastic. asofterworld.com.

Been recovering from a case of strep throat lately. Feeling a lot better now, it's become a minor annoyance when I swallow and an earache, which is odd.

Part of me wants a world that has no crime, no hatred. I know that's a futile wish, though. World peace. Without chaos, there can be no order. One can't exist without the other. It's a constant thing. Some people think about their future spouses at night. I sit and muse about the futility of wishing for world peace. Maybe that's why I've been unlucky relationship-wise so far?

Huh.

Well, I need to get some sleep or something, so I'll leave you with this: a quote from asofterworld.com:

I sold all our possessions and filled our car with snacks while you were gone. I released the cat. I crank called 911. I bit the landlord. We can never go back! We're free.

-Jared

P.S. This may be a bit late, but Mitch Hedberg, rest in peace.

You look like you could use a monkey.

For those of you who haven't heard of KinokoFry, it's an awesome webcomic by Rebecca Clements, a currently Melbourne-based artist who is phernomenal, and an awesome person. Her website is http://www.kinokofry.com

This one time, I was walking home from the pharmacy, my 20oz Pepsi and a pack of reece's pieces in a small plastic bag dangling from my right hand. I trudged through the hall, nodding my respects to creepy graffiti frowning face on the pillar. I noticed that one of the doors up ahead was dented in. I paid no heed to it, seeing as that stuff happens all the time to those doors, and continued on my way.

Suddenly, a voice spoke out behind me. "You know anything about this, boy?" I turned and looked at the owner of the voice. An older man, taller and bigger than myself, and of Hispanic heritage, was looking at me.

"Nope, can't say I do." I said, pausing and waiting for a reply.

"Here, let me give you my card." he said, moving over to his car, a big old pickup truck. I followed him cautiously. I'd seen him around before- he was the repairman or the landlord or something.I waited on the sidewalk and he handed his card to me. His breath smelled like cheap liqour, the kind the 'gangstas' outside the library drink. That stands out to me because this dude was A; repairing a door using powertools and B; driving a truck.

I still have that card around here somewhere. I should give him a call sometime. I know who did it, anyways; the kids who climb on the roof and light up at night.

- Jared