Saturday, February 28, 2009

Cammie: Sorry that no girls like you, bub.

I've regained a small amount of confidence in mankind, and my anger at them has dimmed slightly. My rant in my last post was mainly out of frustration with my sister, SoKo, and Octomom.

Anyways, not much to say other than that, so, ttyl.

-Jared

Friday, February 27, 2009

Q: Are we not men?

A: We are Devo!

Is it just me or does anyone else notice that 90% of today's society has been beaten repeatedly about the head with either the stupid stick, the stick o' corruption (when it comes to basically every single politician EVER.) or the naive/sheep stick? Hm. I mean, there's people who actually buy into the MTV philosophy.

As for slightly cheerier news, there's a small chance that I may be able to go up to New York if/when I start studying modern art! Whoohoo!

Well, since I'm out of things to rant/rave about, I'll go ahead and do my first music review! Yay! First up.. -drumroll-

Artist: The Grates
Album: Teeth Lost, Hearts Won

An awesome, pop-infused indie rock album. I can't describe their sound any better than getting beaten over the head with a chocolate bar wrapped in gold and spritzed with a lime. And they're from Australia. +10 cool points right there. And another thing; the lead singer AND the drummer, Pae and Alanna, respectively, are both lookers. ME, INFATUATED? NEVER. They're also really nice people; I've spoken with them over various online channels before. Check them out on YouTube, Twitter, Myspace, or even Blogspot.

Ah, well. I suppose I should stop dissing mankind and start planning my next post. And by planning I mean doing nothing of any worth.

-Jared

Thx4Read!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Blogosphere, Shlogosphere.

Post number two! Wow, I actually remembered to do this. So, let's seeee... Oh, yeah, for a good time, call http://www.clottedsleepingbags.blogspot.com/. It's a fantastic blog, I give it two thumbs up, or three if I've been streaking through Chernobyl recently.

Chernobyl! I want to travel there. It's safe now, as long as you stay on the pavement. Pavement doesn't absorb radiation for as long as flora does, and apparently the animals are flourishing now. I e-mailed the Russian government about keeping armed guards in Chernobyl in case the animals mutate and gain the ability to reason. They haven't replied yet but I'm sure they're considering it.

Small rant about music, and no, it isn't going to turn into an indie music elitist-rant. Oh, wait, yeah it is. Why is it that the latest dudes-in-eyeliner-and-girl-jeans emo sob story band is going to get picked over an awesome band like TheVarsity? I mean, most of the sobbers grew up in a middle-class suburb. "Suburbs? Let's get this man an internets and a made-for-tv movie on Lifetime!"

Me, bitter? Preposterous.

I made a new friend today, a little girl named Abby. She liked to frighten me with paper bag puppets. Eventually, after she began to tire of my antics, she chirped, "They're not real puppets!" and giggled maniacally.

I also made a pimpin' paper bag puppet. He had green dreadlocks and a goatee and sunglasses. I didn't say he was a pimp though, since I was at my little brother's boy scout meeting.

So, yeah, that's it for now.

Thx4read.

-Jared

Monday, February 23, 2009

Testing, testing.. the most overused phrase in the Blogosphere.

So, yeah, first post on this blog, it has to be good, I guess. Might as well introduce myself. I'm Jared, cynic extraordinaire, and this is One Kid Won, my blog. As you can see, I'm a fan of alliteration. Or, wait, is that the right word?

Anyways, if you read my blog you can expect the following things; biting sarcasm, sporadic updates, a cynical view on the world, and random insanity. Those four things are basically what I do when I do what I do. Also, I may review albums and movies and crap if I get bored. So, today's topic..

Hm.

I can't think of anything. In the meantime, check out my work @ http://holycrapthatsfunny.com/2009/02/23/cthulhu/. Rob, if you decide to read this, shameless plug plznthanq. It's your pal Kiebland.

Ahaha! I'll close with a challenge. Winner gets to pick the topic for my next post.

Whoever can explain what the crap is going on here wins! Aaaand.. go! http://holycrapthatsfunny.com/2009/02/19/seriously-wtf/